Creating a therapy space

Successful trauma therapy relies on achieving a healthy separation between trauma work and normal life. Avoidance often gets a bad reputation for preventing new learning experiences and therefore perpetuating the issue. It’s about having dedicated time to work through trauma and then switching off, compartmentalising, resting, and doing non-trauma related things. We cannot live in trauma land 24/7 and expect that to be therapeutic. Similar to physical exercise, there is time for active work and the rest is for recovery and consolidating the good work.

So how do we achieve this separation when trauma therapy in your own home?

The (sort of) good news is that trauma is likely to have taught you excellent compartmentalisation skills. You’re able to split the awful into one corner of your brain and function relatively well in your every day life until a big enough trigger comes along and wakes up the demons. I wish you didn’t have the experiences that forced you to be so good at compartmentalisation but now we’re here and we might as well use what we’ve got to our advantage.

Most people connect with the therapy content easily as it tends to simmer under the surface. But it’s the coming back out and shutting Pandora’s box again that a lot of people struggle with. We can’t drive fast if we can’t trust that our brakes work. The suggestions therefore focus on containing and shutting things back down.

Here are some practical suggestions to get you thinking about what might work for you. It’ll take trial and error to get this just right for you.

PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES

Having physical markers can help your brain “switch gears” and seperate everyday life from therapy.

Pre-session set up

• create a dedicated therapy corner or space

• use a specific cushion or chair only for therapy

• have a therapy blanket that’s different from everyday ones

• place a “do not disturb” sign when needed

  Post-session clear down

• pack away therapy materials

• change of location

• change lighting or room arrangement

• take a short walk, stretch, have a shower

• change clothes if that’s helpful

EMOTIONAL CONTAINERS

While some of these ideas will have a physical boundary element to them, the main purpose is to emotionally and symbolically trap the therapy content in a set location. That way we can engage with the trauma content as and when we want to, not because we find little, unwanted reminders of it in places. We encounter enough triggers in the wild, we will try to contain the therapy content triggers as much as possible. And yes, there is a recurring theme here around control, choice, and safety.

• keep a separate notebook for therapy reflections

• use a specific box / drawer for therapy materials

• have a digital folder for therapy documents

• set boundaries around therapy homework time (time, place)

• create start and end of therapy rituals (jot down insights / questions / topics to discuss in the session, reflect on insights, set homework task reminders, get a little treat)

TIME MANAGEMENT

We underestimate how much time we need to mentally prepare and decompress after therapy. Intentionally scheduling time slots reduces the likelihood of therapy content overspilling into your normal life.

• schedule buffer time before and after sessions (esp. if you have to return to work, child care, go to appointments)

• set specific times for therapy reflection

• use timers for homework activities

• plan decompression activities post-session

TRANSITION ACTIVITIES

Travelling to and from in-person therapy would be a natural transition activity that helps your brain gain physical and emotional distance from the trauma content. Remember during Covid times how people used to go for a walk before and after working from home to signal start and finish of work and personal time? It’s the same idea. A walk may or may not be feasible, we chose online therapy for a reason after all. So here are non-walk suggestions:

• making a cup of tea in a different mug

• change rooms or clothes after session

• brief grounding exercise

• write closing reflection

Remember: It takes time to create a therapy space that works for you. You’ve got this.